K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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