just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
