Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
