I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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