To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
