Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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