what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
