dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think your dad took our porno
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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