I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
