So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
