Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
