she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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