it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You took a bar mat shot.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
