turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
