I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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