its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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