they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
