You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I would fuck him just for his dog
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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