I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
