this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
