I wish I only lived at night.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
