Well douche your snatch and let's go!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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