On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
