she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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