I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
