she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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