yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
