I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
