No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
