I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
