I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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