We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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