I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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