I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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