Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
