so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
