I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
