I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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