you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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