I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
