giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
