dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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