Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A bitchslap is in order.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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