No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
