Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
