Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
