is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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