i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he shaved USA in his pubs
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
