some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
