D3 body, D1 cock
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
