i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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