This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
