my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
