I can text with my tongue
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
